i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
