He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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