I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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