If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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