if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
