Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
