i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
