so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
