Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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