I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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