remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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