Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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