I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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