I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
