i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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