Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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