no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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