My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
