i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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