I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think I am morally bankrupt
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm always down for nudity.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
