We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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