so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
