You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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