At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize