We're facebook friends in real life
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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