The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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