i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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