Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
