my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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