I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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