I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
