She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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