You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
