Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
