I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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