Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
