I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She's the barista slut.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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