Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
