Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
...so i touched it.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
