We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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