I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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