At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
