i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
