News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
