Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
