I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
