You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
