that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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