You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
