I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
