Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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