I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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