just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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