How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
