tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize