Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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