i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
