I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
