Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
