The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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