The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
