I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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