You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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