Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
