Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
