Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
