One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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