doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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