I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
