I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize