i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
